Lovers In Training™

Practicing Deeper Love
For God, Others, and Self
With Every Breath


Healing the Me I See in You™

First remove the beam out of your own eye. Then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother's eye. —Matthew 7:5.


Overview

This process uses what you see in somebody else as a barometer for what's going on in you, so that you can heal yourself.


Feelings

In English, the word "feelings" has two different meanings; you have emotional feelings, like feeling happy or sad, and physical feelings, like feeling tense or relaxed. In this process, feel what is going on with both kinds of your feelings; feel what is going on for you both emotionally and in your body. Feeling one will help you be more in touch with the other. By feeling both, your process will go much deeper much faster.


Zoom Lens Tool

Whatever you think is bothering you is only the tip of the iceberg. To look deeper, use the zoom lens tool. Some of the steps will ask you to feel what would come up for you if something were to go on and on and get worse and worse. This zooms right into your feelings and makes it clear what is going on with you at a deeper level.


Tightening and Your Breath

When you use the zoom lens tool, notice where and how you tighten in your body, and where and how you hold your breath. This will guide you as to where and how to heal yourself.


The Steps, Explained

Step 1. Notice Their Problem

Notice something about somebody else that you think bothers you. It can be something they are doing, how they are being, or some of each.

Example.


Step 2. Read Your Barometer

Imagine if what you think is bothering you about them were to go on and on and get worse and worse. Feel, emotionally and in your body, what would come up for you if that were to happen. This is the real measure of how bothered you feel about them.

Example.


Step 3. Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Imagine that you were being and doing the way that you think is bothering you about them. Imagine what would be going on in you (fears, hostilities, beliefs, etc.) if that were to happen.

Example.


Step 4. Zoom into Your Problem

Imagine if whatever came up for you when you put yourself in their shoes were to go on and on and get worse and worse. Feel, emotionally and in your body, what would come up for you if that were to occur. Notice where and how you tighten and hold your breath. Notice any related thoughts and beliefs you would have along with those feelings.

Example.


Step 5. Heal Your Problem

Breathe deeply. Breathe in love. Breathe out anything in you that is less than love. Allow the places where you had tightened to soften. Take whatever feelings, thoughts, and beliefs that came up for you when you zoomed into your problem, and put them all into your past. Feel yourself moving forward into your new future, and leaving those feelings, thoughts, and beliefs behind you.

Notice your breathing. Notice where the places you had tightened, before, have softened. If any remain tight, repeat this step with whatever is left of your problem.

Claim your peace and feel it in your body in the places where, before, you had tightened. Feel love in those places. Feel love in your whole body. Feel love in your whole being.

Example.


Step 6. Recheck Your Barometer

Imagine if what you thought was bothering you about them were to go on and on and get worse and worse. Feel, emotionally and in your body, what would come up for you if that were to happen.

Example.


Step 7. Successful Healing

If their problem no longer feels like it is bothering you, you have healed, in yourself, what you saw in them. Congratulations! Give yourself credit for healing yourself. It was your free will that made it possible. Feel gratitude for your healing. Gratitude opens the way for more of what you want in your life. Feel gratitude for whoever showed you your problem, so that you could heal it. While thinking of whoever showed you your problem, continue to feel love.

Begin again at Step 1 with something else that you think is bothering you about somebody.

Example.


Step 8. If Incomplete

If you still think their problem is bothering you some, take whatever is left about it and continue with those remaining pieces from Step 2. When you use the zoom lens tool, zoom in even closer by imagining things going on even longer and getting even worse than you imagined them before.

Ask yourself, "What is my barrier to love, here?" followed by, "How will I feel when I am past that barrier?"


Step 9. If Still Unresolved

If, after doing Step 8 and then repeating the process from Step 2, their problem still seems to be bothering you, notice something similar, about the same person or somebody else, that you think bothers you, and proceed from Step 1 with that problem.


The Steps, By Example

Step 1 Example. Notice Her Problem

Jen was going on and on about her problems, in front of Jack and many other people.

Return to process explanation.


Step 2 Example. Read Your Barometer

Jack imagined Jen doing that on and on even more and it getting worse and worse for him. Emotionally, he felt a feeling of dread. Physically he felt tightening and stuck energy in his upper chest.

Return to process explanation.


Step 3 Example. Put Yourself in Their Shoes

If Jack were going on and on about his problems like that, he would be overwhelmed with them.

Return to process explanation.


Step 4 Example. Zoom into Your Problem

If that overwhelm were to go on and on and get worse and worse for Jack, he would feel terror to the point of immobilization, along with tightening and huge stuck energy in his heart and lung area. He would have thoughts of giving up.

Return to process explanation.


Step 5 Example. Heal Your Problem

Jack breathed into that stuck energy in his heart and lung area, released it, the terror, and his thoughts of giving up. He took another breath, and it was mostly gone, but he could tell there was a little more left. He breathed in again, found another stuck place with a little piece of terror attached, released it, breathed peace into that area, and it felt great. He felt love where, before, he was tight. He let love fill his body and his being, and felt it.

Return to process explanation.


Step 6 Example. Recheck Your Barometer

Jen could go on and on about her problems forever, and Jack would be fine with it.

Return to process explanation.


Step 7 Example. Successful Healing

Jack healed the him he saw in Jen. He gives himself credit for doing it. He feels gratitude for the healing. He feels gratitude for Jen for showing him where he needed to heal. He thought of her, and felt love.

Return to process explanation.


The Software Program,
Right on This Page


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This program does not send or save any of your answers anywhere. This program does not read any of your computer files. Everything you enter is erased when you close the page.

This is an open source, program. You can read all the code and verify these statements for yourself.

To turn this program on, on your browser toolbar, click: Edit, then: Preferences, then: Enable JavaScript.


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Begin Now

This entire program is on this page. You can run it online or offline.

This program is written to insure your confidentiality. See the privacy notice for more info.

Step 1. Notice Their Problem - Part 1

Notice something about somebody else that you think bothers you.

Who you think bothers you is ...

 

Software Designed with Your Privacy in Mind

Lovers in Training™ software is BrowserBased. Nothing you enter is sent over the internet or recorded anywhere. Lovers in Training™ software writes no cookies on your computer. Nothing is written to or read from your computer files.

Once the program is loaded into your browser window, you can disconnect your computer from the Internet and all its features will still run. Once you close the program, everything you entered into the program is erased. Because this is an open source program, you can see the source code and verify all this for yourself. You can comfortably process your issues with Lovers in Training™ software, knowing that your entries are confidential.


Getting Support

For Lovers in Training™ support, use the Lovers in Training™ contact form.


Attributions

A process such as this stands on the shoulders of many giants. The seed inspiration for the process comes from the work of HeartLand Aramaic Mission. It is an adaptation of the HeartLand work on forgiveness.

Most of the steps in the process are adaptations of steps from the Inner Peace process, which is, mostly, an adaptation of NLP.

The instructions for feeling both emotionally and in your body is an adaptation of the concept, taught in the early twentieth century by the mystic, G.I. Gurdjieff, that humans were "three brained beings." In the mid twentieth century, Dr. Paul MacLean brought this concept more into the mainstream with his writings on the triune brain.

The step for dealing with something similar to an unresolved event is an adaptation of a concept from the early works of Freud, who opened the idea exploring our areas of emotional distress for the purposes of healing them.



Pass it On!

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Tell your friends about this site, especially the ones who have had difficulties with relationships.

Be sure to tell them about our new free ebook Closeness in Love™. and our new free self help healing process, Healing the Me I See in You™.